PERSONAL FILE
Full name:
Richard Lofthouse Butler. I never use the Lofthouse bit though, because I don't
like it enough. I think the whole idea of middle names is old-fashioned. No one
ever uses them anyway so they're useless.
Born: 5/6/56 in
Kingston, Surrey.
Where do you live?
New York-in a very nice basement apartment. It's all white and open plan and
I'm very happy there. I don't like inviting people round though because there's
loads of kick marks on the door and the bathroom door's kicked in because I get
very... temperamental sometimes! When I get angry I kick my own doors in and
there's also a few punch marks in the walls because parts of the walls are made
out of plasterboard. I never hit people though!
Have you got one of
those flush things that you hang down inside the loo? No. I don't like blue
water, I don't trust blue water, I like to see what colour my piss is, ha ha
ha! I can't say that? What do you expect me to say?!!
First crush:
Ooooh that was at primary school. I remember her name was Sandra. er, did I
kiss her? Yes! Properly? Er. no, I was terrible! I remember my second crush was
a girl called Audrey-she was a right old slag. Everybody kissed her properly.
When did you last do
the hoovering? I never do the hoovering. Sometimes, if I'm in a good mood,
I'll give myself the choice of washing the kitchen floor or doing the hoovering
and I always opt for the kitchen floor. I'm pretty good at it yeah, it's quick
and easy and when I've done it the floor always gleams. Do I use Flash? Er...I
don't think you get that in America!
Why do you look like
David Bowie? Ha ha ha! I don't think I do actually! Perhaps a passing
resemblance... Actually I was at a party ages ago in New York and John Lydon
(from P.I.L) was there and his girlfriend said I looked really similar to him
and... well, I suppose I do ha ha!
Do you think that
Stan from the Housemartins looks like David Bowie? Er. I've never seen or
heard of The Housemartins. They've just had a number one? Oh. I have heard
they're spotty. I don't think it's really my kind of music anyway- I heard it
was a bit wimpy. It's not? Er... well, I don't really like pop music anyway- I
like rock music.
Have you ever had an
out-of-body experience? An out-of-body experience? Ha ha! I've been out of
my brain a few times! Not out of my body though. I'm sure I will have one one
day-not that I'm waiting for it or anything- but I'm sure everybody dies, don't
they? I know one girl who almost died in a car crash and she said that it
happened to her- she was suddenly above the hospital bed watching the nurses
pumping the blood back into her and then she started floating up and up and up.
That seems alright!
What's the most
horrendous thing you've ever worn? Oh, I think that was when I was a kid
and I bought myself a satin polo-neck with a velcro over-flap thing-I can't
even remember what colour it was but it was disgusting. My mother had taken me
out to the shops to buy something and she cried when I insisted that was what I
wanted! I don't think she could believe her son had such bad taste. And I've
never looked back since!
Have you ever smeared
yourself with chocolate mousse? No. Whipped cream! Yeah, I wanted to try it
with a girl I was with at the time but the thing is it turns to butter really
quickly and goes all disgusting. So we had to have a shower ha ha!
What end of the bath
do you sit at? The opposite end to the taps. I don't like having my head
next to the taps because I like being able to lie back and relax. I fell asleep
in the bath once -woke up in cold water. I think that's the nearest I've come
to an out-of- body experience!
What colour is love?
Oooooh... hot pink with blue stripes. I couldn't say. really-it varies, it
really does, but I think it's. it's purple actually-very rich with a hint of
decadence about it.
Have you ever been a
butler? Yes! Yes, I did an advert for a clothes store in L.A. (man) years
and years and years ago where I had to dress up as a butler and just sort of
stand there. No I didn't look like a bimbo-I thought I looked quite good
actually! Normally I'm such a scruffy sod, you see, and this time I looked very
smart
If you had to do one
of the following, which would it be: a) run a butcher's shop with Samantha Fox
b) go abseiling with Gyles Brandreth c) go and see Torvill And Dean with Mick
Talbot of The Style Council or d) be Harvey Smith's horse in the Horse Of The
Year Show? That's a pretty grim selection, isn't it? I'd hate to do any of
those things. I don't find Samantha Fox remotely attractive. And running a
butcher's shop was never one of my ambitions. I don't eat meat! It's not very
good for you for one thing-1 stopped eating it completely about three years ago
when I decided to start looking after myself. I don't miss it in the slightest.
Who's Gyles Brandreth anyway? Whoever he is I wouldn't go abseiling with him
because I'm really scared of heights. I can go up towers or something but when
I get to the top I have to really hold on to something because I really feel
like I'm going to fall off. It's terrifying. I always feel like I'm capable of
jumping off. As for going to see Torvill and Dean with Mick Talbot-well, the
idea of doing something bland with someone bland doesn't really appeal in the
slightest It's like eating sliced bread for dinner. Like eating Wonderlife.
What's that? It's bread! Oh dear. I think I've been in America too long...
Actually I think being Harvey Smith's horse is the most attractive one! Ha ha!
If you had to have a
head transplant, whose head would you have? Er. do you know the actor Eric
Roberts? Oh. Well, take it from me- he looks great. Actually, no, I think I'll
have Beethoven's head- he looks really great. I quite like the idea of people
making busts of my head for the next two hundred years ha ha!
Have you ever thought
you were a bus stop? Ha! No, I've never thought I was a bus stop. I never
stay in one place long enough. I can honestly say I'm nothing like a bus stop.
