(The introduction and the first question (about their band name) are indecipherable so the interview is partially incomplete)
BR: The British Press would be the one to say you’re almost as big as The Clash. This is a phenomenon.
Richard: We’re actually far bigger than The Clash.
BR: How about your roadies though? Are they as big?
Richard: Oh, they’re bigger than The Clash’s roadies. We made sure of that. It’s in the contract. We have to have roadies that are at least 6’2.
BR: Does that mean you can headline?
Richard: I’ll have to ask our roadie….
Roadie: We make headlines everywhere we go. Look at Tim’s fracture. I think Tim should show the readers of Boston Rock his arm. [Hereby, for the record, Tim holds up his arm to the tape recorder].
Tim: I did that in Austin, Texas, smashing a guitar on stage.
BR: You’re just having a flashback - I suppose.
Richard: Yeah, he’s another acid casualty: he used to hang out with Roky Erikson and all that lot for a bit.
BR: Have you ever met Jimi Hendrix?
Tim: He was there tonight. We visited his grave, and in spirit. We did meet him, yeah. Definitely.
Roadie: The guitar was flaming.
Richard: It seemed like that anyway. It might have been the effect of the punch.
BR: He punched you?
Richard: When we walked into the cemetery, we got punched. My head felt hot, anyway. I don’t know if the guitar was actually on fire.
BR: So you’re hotheads, are you? Is that what makes you write these angry lyrics?
Richard: Well, they’re not really angry.
(The rest of the question is indecipherable with the exception of: “swamp”, “psychedelic” and “fungus” being the only words I can make out. Take what you want of that.)
BR: Is that how you get your voice to go up and down like that?
Richard: Of course, yeah.
BR: Did you ever try it with marbles?
Richard: Yes, but I broke a few teeth so I just kept my tongue in there.
Roadie: Actually Richard was a marble champ in his years at public school.
Richard: Also, the Young Marble Giants wanted me to join them because they heard of my skills.
BR: Is this the final band you’re going to be in?
Richard: It’s the first one.. and probably the final one. I don’t want to go through this again.
BR: Why don’t you start your own record label?
Richard: Well, you can start up your own record label, fine, but it just means something on the surface. Because it eventually it goes through a bigger publishing company, and a bigger record label. In fact, most smaller record labels are distributed by crooks, like WEA in England. It means nothing. It’s like a joke, really. We like being on CBS because people have to listen to us now. (laughter)
Roadie: And it’s more profitable than dealing drugs.
Richard: I haven’t got any complaints. You get people complaining about record companies, and we have absolutely no complaints about CBS, whatsoever. They’ve been great, so far. People complain about being with a big record company, and as far as I can see, it seems like crap. Next question, please. I don’t want to talk about it.
BR: Sorry, I didn’t mean to bring up a sore subject. Nor will I ask you about recent rumors that David Bowie is going to produce your next record.
Richard: Well, to tell you the truth David Bowie has asked us to learn versions of “Tusk” so we can play in coordination with his production of “The Elephant Man.” It was such short notice that we couldn’t do it. But David Bowie is interested..
BR: And Tim’s going to be the orchestra?
Tim: Of course. With 19 instrumentalists.
Richard: Seriously, though, we don’t mean to be so sarcastic. We’re really honest.
BR: Can we get an honest confirmation or denial of the various rumors about your band?
Richard: Certainly.
BR: What about the rumor you’ll be using Diana Ross for backing vocals?
Richard: Diana Ross is interested in doing backing vocals. yes.
BR: Next rumor… Frank Sinatra absolutely refuses to acknowledge the existence of The Psychedelic Furs because he supports Ronald Reagan.
Richard: Frank Sinatra just puts the phone down everytime he phones us up. He says “Frank Sinatra” and then just puts down the phone. We never phone him. He just wants us to know he doesn’t like us.
Roadie: Actually he’s considering a lawsuit because we used his name.
BR: In vain?
Roadie: The band copped the riff from “Fly Me To The Moon.”
BR: Not because of “Imitation of Christ?”
Tim: No, he’s not that big-headed, yet.
Richard: He will be soon, though. After Reagan gets elected he’s going to run for Christ. We’re going to do some Frank Sinatra for Christ gigs, actually. In fact, the next tour over here is going to be Frank Sinatra for Christ.
BR: Who would be the anti-Christ is Frank Sinatra were Christ?
Richard: It’s got to be someone intelligent, hasn’t it?
Tim: Eddie Fisher…
Roadie: Anita Bryant.
Richard: Esther Williams. She’s got to be the anti-Christ. I don’t know why, but she just has to be.
BR: Next rumor, David Byrne is joining the band.
Richard: David Byrne got pissed off with lumbering these 11 guys or whatever he’s got at the moment around the country.
BR: Will he be doing harmony vocals with you - or trade off songs?
Richard: He will be playing…
Tim: Bongos!
Richard: Tambourines.
BR: What about the rumor that the next Psychedelic Furs album will be live from Taj Mahal?
Richard: The second one will be total silence.
Roadie: Silence is a rhythm, too. As The Slits say.
Richard: Somebody I was speaking to recently said they like reggae. They said, what do you think of reggae, and I said, oh, I like the silent bits. (laughter)
BR: And what about the rumor that the next time The Psychedelic Furs tour, the stage will be entirely decked with flowers?
Richard: There will be roses, chrysanthemums..
Tim: We’re going to have two cannons, you know, the kind they use at circuses that shoot out human beings. Well these will shoot out flowers. Massive garlands of flowers, into the audience.
Richard: And the stage is going to be totally be decked in flowers. I’ll be sitting cross legged under a statue of Ghandi.
Roadie: And Donovan will make guest appearances. He enjoys the consumption of flowers.
Richard: He eats nothing else.
BR: We heard the Psychedelic Furs are actually going to become a new soap opera, and that was the inspiration for the song “Soap Commercial.”
Richard: That’s absolutely not true. We are making a TV series though.
Tim: We’re becoming an epic. (laughter at bad pun)
Richard: We are making a TV series but it’s not a soap opera. It’s more like people nailed to the wall, hitting other people’s toes with rubber hammers.
Roadie: Don’t you ever use my name for this interview.
Richard: He’s just got to be “Roadie”
BR: When are you coming back to Boston?
Richard: We’re going to be back in three months.
BR: Let me ask you one more question, Richard. Are you related to John Lydon?
Richard: Fuck off.